When Shredtember Cums.

I am aware the title is puerile. Now between the months of September and October each year in university towns and cities up and down the country their a in general a massive bun fight to get the fresher’s attentions for your club night and venue. Get them at this time of year and they will merrily come back week after week for the next 12 months.

Thus posters become larger and bolder, bemoaning the virtues of “town Xs biggest bikini beach party every Friday” or “all drinks now £1 and kick out at 5am”*

The point being these large, juiced up, posters need space, which is at a premium anyway due to, http://www.communities.gov.uk/documents/planningandbuilding/pdf/326679.pdf , actually fairly uninteresting reading by the way and the local authority speak and jargon which shall probably make you go crossed eyed but the bits about traveling circuses were a personal highlight.

So with space a premium for these 8 weeks and the unwritten law of the promoter, that most stick too, that you do now cover up or rip down other people posters unless the event or night has passed.

It is also during this time that we will take on some new “reps” to help out with the flyering and postering. There is no selection or training for this, sadly; in general if you can make it to the interview and can sign your mark you are in.

Upon instructing one of my new charges, as assistant promoter, to pop the posters up only on empty and disused buildings and shops. I hoping he was buoyed by the thought of the free entry he was going to be getting and six quid an hour we were paying him, had taken in my instruction carefully.

I like to do this, personally, on a Sunday evening with a good mix tape on my blackberry as on the Sabbath there are in general far fewer, PCSOs, keen young bobbies, local councilors, business owners, old people and local busy bodies who will bother be and call me a cock and a vandal.

So the newbie dually went off on his task on a street where there are number of places to pop our garish neon signage.

I of course in my capacity as assistant promoter went to check his work. He had indeed plastered them on empty shops. But also every shop that had a set of roller shutters down at the time. Needless to say come morning rather than everyone knowing about our club nights the street was littered with shreds of neon confetti.

People have no common sense. Doom.

* This highlights two things, sex, or at least the thought of sex sells (duh!) and in turn raises the question of why does we need to drink £1 drinks til 5am? It satisfies two of the three main reasons to come university, to f*** and be f***ed up for three years and eventually end up with 2.2

Any way I have digressed into moral high ground that I am far to hypocritical to be getting chopsy over considering I am a merchant and facilitator of these activities.